Sleep Over Sex, Money Mess as Cause of Stress | Big Little Wolf's ...

According to a recent report in the Wall Street Journal, if you want to wow a woman into bed, offer her sleep before sex.

According to a Time Healthland article, three out of four women are ?somewhat, very, or extremely stressed.? In case you?re wondering, they?re stressed over bucks ? and not the kind that afford the pleasures conjured by the prior Wall Street Journal mention.

Yes, you heard it here ? and surely not first. Zzzzzs before we please ? ourselves or someone we love. And as it turns out, money mess (as if we didn?t already realize) is as a major factor in female stress.

According to the Healthland survey referenced, conducted by Aviva and the Mayo Clinic, the data concerning financial stress and overall health prove interesting:

About?82% of the women said they were uncomfortable with their financial situation, and 58% of women reported weight gain in the previous 10 years; that number jumped to 68% among extremely stressed women.

Of course, the solutions offered ? institute and maintain healthy weight plans and a good financial plan besides ? are extremely simplistic.

Sleep Over Sex

My opening statement?

Sure ? in the heat of (early) passion, we don?t feel our fatigue. But beyond that? Many women would choose sleep over sex. (Let?s at least admit it.)

Last weekend I set a clear boundary with someone I love, by saying no to spending time together. I?m in the middle of what seems like an endless list of tasks, most of which are related to paying my bills, and letting up is not an option.

My sleep is already taking a beating and at the moment, I can?t accommodate additional expectations ? however lovely they may be. Putting sleep at risk isn?t an option, when I need all my energies focused on projects and pursuing leads, not to mention every available functioning hour. (Hello? Two kids in college?)

If I?m not working, I choose sleep ? 5 or 6 hours ? over nearly everything else.

The Stress of Money Mess

Post divorce life?

Stressful.

Post divorce life when the dollars never add up, and legal fees to make changes tip the scales to Land of Impossible Dream?

Post divorce life when it?s also post corporate life?

You do whatever you must, as many hours as it takes. And it may go on for years. This isn?t a unique story, with millions of adults unemployed or underemployed, and scrambling to stay afloat.

But do we think that money woes won?t encourage emotional eating (or worse), much less plenty of sleepless nights?

Sleeping, Eating, Breathing (and Other Priorities)

Sleep is a must. How often do we lose it to worry? How often do we give it away so our partners (and children) get more of our attention? How often does it disappear as we fret over jobs, kids, relationship problems ? worsened by our own overwrought expectations?

We have only to look at these two articles as examples of how much women take on ? knowingly or without realizing. Of course our health is impacted! We eat less attentively, we put on weight, and we know that sleep deprivation may result in putting on pounds, or at the very least makes losing weight more difficult.

What if what the so-called ?Fat Personality? is a reflection in part of worry and sleeplessness? Just how much of a woman?s emotional eating is tied to the body?s physical responses to stress?

Why do we insist on a healthy balance of sleep, food, and a breather for those we love, but for ourselves ? not so much?

Sayonara Superwoman

I?ve attempted to dismantle the Superwoman myth before; I will continue until we start to listen ? to ourselves. This isn?t to say that we aren?t super women ? but if we?re smart, we?ll learn to ask for help and to accept it. We?ll say no to a vision of a perfect self, a perfect mate, a perfect parent, a perfect professional ? and of course, in a perfectly neat and welcoming home.

Must I really add the perfect body to the mix?

But this isn?t enough. We must also stand up and say no to living in fear of losing our jobs (and thus our health care), losing our spouses (and thus often both health care and financial stability), and spending years scrambling just to survive. We need to listen carefully and reject simple solutions for complex social problems.

We cannot ignore our neighbors, our friends, our communities. We cannot slide into complacency. And just because it does not affect us personally today doesn?t mean it won?t tomorrow.

Vision, Action, and Common Sense

Somewhere in the insanity of our contemporary cultural expectations, we must be able to find a flicker of common sense ? reaching out and pooling resources, making tough choices when it comes to priorities, compromising as all adults do, and thinking beyond our own immediate interest.

We?re a nation that needs its women strong, healthy, and actively contributing.

?

? D. A. Wolf

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